Back Home!

So I arrived back home in Canada 1 week ago today. The transition has been pretty smooth and enjoyable! I have so enjoyed catching up FACE-TO-FACE (yippee!) with family and friends. While I was in New Zealand the Lord was ministering to my heart through the letters of Paul and how he would write to the churches how eagerly he desired to "see (their) faces with great desire" (1 Thess. 2:9) There is something so powerful about face-to-face interaction and I have loved being able to enjoy the physical and tangible presence of my family and friends!

On the flip side of this transition, I have really been missing my friends and family in the nation of New Zealand. I feel like I really sowed my heart into that land in this past season and being away from that nation makes me ache. I am so thankful that I gave my heart so deeply in this past season. Even in the pain of being away from a nation that I "sowed my heart into", it's so worth it. I don't ever want to reserve myself from being wholehearted towards the Lord and His calling in my life because I'm afraid of the pain that will come when that season is over. I want to love well and give myself completely to what the Lord is calling me to all the while leaning into His grace and strength when that season shifts or comes to an end.

As I was praying about my transition while still in New Zealand, all I could say to the Lord was, "Thank you! Thank you, God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Still that is the main theme that comes out of my mouth and my heart when I remember all that the Lord has done in my heart since July. I am just so thankful for this past season! So thankful for His perfect leadership and His desire to take me away to the nation of New Zealand! THANK YOU, JESUS! What a life-changing, amazing season!

Now that I'm back at home in Canada (though I have been accidentally referring to NZ as home these days!), I have anticipation and expectation in my heart for this season. I do not know how little or how long I will be in Winnipeg, Canada, but I do know that God longs to encounter my heart, use me and speak to me while I'm here. I could be here for a few months, I could be here for many years... I'm just praying for the divine leading of the Lord. I'm so thankful that I can rest in His perfect leadership. I have nothing to fear and I have no need because He is my Shepherd.

Just like I gave my heart fully to what the Lord was doing in my heart in New Zealand, so I want to give my heart fully to what the Lord is doing in my heart and in this city. I want to feel God's heart for this city and for my home nation of Canada. What is He thinking when He looks at Winnipeg? How does He feel about Canada? I want to know. I want to partner with His heart in the place of prayer and I want to be available to however He wants to use me in this season! My allegiance isn't to a nation, or to nations, but it is to a Man. I want to partner with the One who sits on the throne. I want intimacy, partnership, close proximity and deep love for Jesus in this season. I want to do what He's doing, say what He's saying, feel what He's feeling, love what He loves, hate what He hates and rejoice in Him always. He alone is my joy, my hope and my peace. He is the One that I love and I want to enjoy Him and allow Him to enjoy me in this season (and always)!

Sometimes in transition from an incredible season to a more mundane season (just being honest here), it's hard not to want to live in the past. It's like the feeling when you're a kid being at summer camp and transitioning back into mundane school in the fall. Summer's over, friends are gone and you've now got homework. I remember living off of the "high" of summer camp and through-out the year wishing I was back at that time in summer when everything felt so much better and was more exciting. This is not how I want this transition to be. Yes, the Lord really did encounter my heart in incredible ways! Yes, He really did transform me! Yes, He really did give me an adventure of a lifetime! Yes, He really did draw me away with Him! But, my relationship with Him and the adventure is not ending, it's just beginning! This past season was just the start of something! I learned so much about the Lord and who I am that will be treasures and gifts to me for the rest of my life... but in no way is this past season the climax of my relationship with Christ. It's uphill from here, not downhill! Every day is an invitation to encounter the love of God. Every season of the soul (be it painful or enjoyable) is an escort into intimacy with Him. I'm not looking back in longing, but in thankfulness! I'm looking forward with expectation and excitement! I'm looking up with love in my heart to my Great Reward, the Man on the throne! I want to love Jesus more today than I loved Him yesterday. I want to love Jesus more tomorrow than I do today. For the rest of my life. Amen.